From the author of PD ^{Found here contact me.}

Latest news: Version 5 of PD Pro is available.

Life is complicated. Your computer and your art has probably consumed a lot of Your talent and energy. It's fun and feels good, but there is much more to life. Even art cannot fill an empty person. Our lives are so very important. Let's not miss what's really going on in our lives.

Believe me, I’ve tried to fill up my life with art and achievement and even various kinds of pleasure, and none of it has truly satisfied. Whatever I tried was like a cup that couldn’t hold water for very long. The initial joy would always drain away. After a while, I just felt trapped. I was working for nothing. Perhaps you know what I mean. We all have pain and desires, and it’s totally valid, but we really can get to the root of it and stop treating the symptoms. Why labor on what does not satisfy?

I suffered from sexual addiction most my life, even as a Christian. It doesn’t sound so bad, does it? I became more and more isolated and depressed until I didn’t feel human anymore. In the Bible, Isaiah says prophetically about the coming Messiah:

The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners ...

Jesus confirmed this prophecy, and said publicly at the beginning of his ministry:

“Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing.”

I am convinced beyond doubt that God is good, and He sent his Son, not only to save souls, but to save us from captivity, the captivity of sin. If we sin, we are captive, but He came to set the captives free. The first place to start is in the Word of God, the Bible. God is true. He became a man and showed us His great character on Earth. He is a God of love. He is a God of justice as well as mercy. I’ve seen His work of restoration and redemption first hand. I’ve seen His love and I’ve seen His judgment. Even that is His love, intended to drive us away from the destruction of lies that can kill us. Again, The Bible tells us who God is. He alone contains everything needed to free us. His Word, the Bible, is His word to us that tells us who He is. If You don’t have a Bible, you can read online at BibleGateway.com or listen to the Bible at www.AudioTreasures.com.

After 2001, my life crumbled. I ended up living in the wilderness of Southern California for 6 years. I was robbed, bothered by the Police, taunted and tormented by nearly everyone, yet God was with me the whole way. I could feel his presence, even though I was in rebellion against him most of the time. There was sexual sin in my life God wanted to deal with. Many times I went without food, but I didn't starve to death. I thought surely my friends would help me or the church, but nobody cared. One time I was robbed and I walked around 20 miles to the police station. I did this four days in a row, all without a bit of food, and nobody at the station would help me. Later, I saved and bought a bike and I biked hundreds of miles every week. I worked on the paint program and the novels the whole time. At one point, my laptop was stolen, and I had to reverse engineer large parts of the program before I could move on with development. That was between version 2 and 3, if anyone ever wondered why version 3 wasn't a major move forward and why there were so many plugins released for free in-between. It was quite heart breaking.

I self published the first novel while I was working at Threshold digital. Reviews were good, but sales were non-existent. I still believed God was going to bless it, so I went ahead and started with the second. While I was at Threshold, I would sleep in the wilderness and bike so somebody could pick me up to drive to Santa Monica. Later, I saved up for a car, but things didn't change much. I lost that job soon after and haven't worked in animation since. I later went to school to study animation and screen writing. Eventually, I ended up having panic attacks as my nervous system continued to break down, and I finally gave in and decided to obey God. I picked up a Gideon Bible and began to read. What I read terrified me. I didn't really know what to do, but I knew he wanted me to go to Florida. I packed up and went right away.

I was driving for about a day and a half, and I was in terrible shape. I didn't know what in the world I was doing out there. I was in the middle of Texas, when I was about to give up in despair I asked God, what am I doing out here? And at that very exact moment, I passed a sign on the road. I don't know who put it out there, but it was just the right thing at just the right time, it read “Trust Jesus”

What could be more foundational or to the point than that? Trust Jesus.

Find out if God is really who he says he is. Don’t trust the rumors that you’ve heard about God. Understand who He really is. It’s too important not to be sure. I’ll even talk to you if you’d like to contact me.

Want to know God? Jesus really is the only way. I know this much. We can trust him because he truly is good. He was a man like us, and truly God as well, and because of him and his cross, we can have a relationship with a sweet, sweet God. Any relationship is founded in trust, including one with God through Jesus. Ask him, and He will establish a relationship with you if you trust him, and He will show you who he is. I’ve tested him and I’m fully convinced of his Character. He is good. He is real. I’m telling you from my heart.

God does desire to search out those things in our lives that don't work, and correct them. How could a God who created all things and knows how they work, not be trusted to make such changes? Jesus said “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it”

This is where trust comes in (by faith are you saved). Let's face it, it's impossible to give up some of the things we like, but God does know what's good for us and what gives us joy. He created those things. He is not hard hearted. He said he is gentle and humble. When I gave up some of those things, I thought my world was crumbling around me for about 2 weeks. After that, it wasn't so bad, and after 60 days, I hardly missed any of it at all. There's happiness in my life again. Who knew? Very much like a chemical addiction, a pleasure addiction plays with our emotions. It's not real. It's just an illusion of our mind. God knew this. He was firm, but he knew good would come out of it. I'm no longer having panic attacks and I don't feel humiliated all the time. I can say though, that without God, I could not just change my life. He was with me every step of the way. God is very real. He likes to clear away the things that aren't real in our lives. He's very practical. He does not want to condemn us. His plans for us are good, and to benefit us.